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Looking for some positivity!
Hey friends!
I seem to go through pretty heavy swings with my body image. I have a lot more boob than I would like to have, and I spend more time hiding them than flattering them (to the point where I've mentioned my bra size, GG, to friends and they get really confused). But they're also heavy and they can make it hard to sit up straight, and in my very down moments I find myself digging for information on reduction surgery.
The thing is, most of what I find is overwhelmingly negative about large breasts ("I was an H-cup! It was AWFUL!") and I'm really craving some more positive voices about shapes like mine (on the thin side with lots of bobbies). If I decide to have reduction surgery, I want it to be for me, not to conform to what I "should" look like.
So, TL;DR:
-Do you all have any recommendations for boob-positive bloggers?
-And is there a community (even on this site!) where I could ask honest questions about reduction surgery and get answers that aren't so negative in tone?
Thank you all!
Filed under Boob and body issues
14 comments
Oh man, I can't say I have tons of advice, but I can totally relate. I spent my entire adolescence and 20s hiding my boobs and crying about them and Googling reductions. Finding bras that really FIT has changed a LOT about my outlook on them and I have more positive days now than negative days. So I would make sure at first your bras really fit as good as you're going to find, and this community is fabulous about helping with that. A well fitting bra can improve posture and relieve back pain. A lot of my disdain for my own breasts came from not being able to walk into VS or wherever and buy cute bras off the rack, and especially swimsuits, and not being able to wear the shirts I wanted to because of my boobs, and not understanding why my bras didn't fit right, and so on. Having beautiful well fitted bras has changed that part of it, and also made my clothes fit better and my body image become more positive. It has also made me realize that even with a reduction, I would still have to order bras online because it wouldn't change my band size.
That said, there's still days I hate them. I hate how pendulous they are, really restricting my bra options to Polish bras, and my bikini options even farther because even if I can find a triangle top to cover them, it does nothing for support because I'm not self supported at all. Almost all of my tissue is below my IMF and I'm only 31, and I don't recall a time they were ever "perky" or more self-supporting, even as an adolescent. They grew in this way. So then I get down and think "oh man if this is what they look like now, so deflated already, what will they look like in 30 years..."
I try to tell myself there's no "perfect" shape and pendulous is natural and isn't bad, but I am so petite everywhere else, with narrow hips, that I feel unbalanced. Like these 28FF-Gs are just too much boob for my otherwise small frame, and I've learned I can lose dangerous amounts of weight and they don't really get any smaller than a 28F-FF. I can't qualify for insurance coverage for breast surgery because emotional distress isn't considered a medical reason (don't even get me started on that...!) but if I ever have the free money, I may still consider it. A small reduction, but mostly a lift. If I could get some of this tissue off my ribcage, I'd feel more comfortable. I'd be better able to wear a strapless bra and therefore strapless shirts and dresses and my wardrobe options would open up. I'd also be pursuing it for the RIGHT reasons - with an understanding of my bra size and an acceptance of my body. I'd know it won't fix my own emotional issues, and that is an issue for therapy to handle.
All I can say is hang in there. It doesn't matter one little bit what other people have to say about your body - you're the one living in it, and your bra size is none of their damn business anyways. Most people react weirdly to "GG" because they've never heard of a size "larger" than DD, even if they are actually an F or FF or whatever and just don't know it. Remember you are beautiful the way you are, and work on self acceptance. Get your head in the right place before pursuing surgery. And if that's the route you eventually go, there's no judgement coming from me!
PS: my blog is here: https://thephotogsbrog.wordpress.com/ I can't say I talk positively 24/7 about my breasts, but I don't talk negatively about them either.
I just have sympathy too. I am 50 now, and a 32/34 J/JJ. I'm about 40 lb heavier than I was in high school, so I was probably about your size then. Not being able to find bras that really fit was a bummer. OMG, prom dress - I had a friend offer to take in a size 14, because otherwise I have no idea what I would have worn.
My mom actually offered me a reduction - she said she was worried about my back, but as I'd never complained about my back, I assume she thought they made me look fat. That really sent me in to a bit of a tailspin, but mostly, I'm just like - this is my body, and its my job to learn to love and take care of it!
I do still go through waves of wanted to hack them off. Even my best-fitting bras usually hurt some. But having pretty Ewa Michalak bras helps! And I think loving myself is more important than having smaller boobs - saying I would love myself if i just changed one thing seems to me to be a slippery slope.
I've seen articles about reductions and people who were happy with them, but I dont know where to point you. Curvy Wordy's blog is sometimes inspirational to me - not because she talks about body positivity, but because she's just so awesome - she looks amazing with something a little bit like my shape. and that makes me feel better about having such big boobs
I've also gained weight, so general body positivity sites help (like the militant baker) - but they rarely talk about boobs. Militant baker does not have particularly big boobs. Still, she's so badass and positive about bodies in general, its encouraging.
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