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Naturally pendulous, feeling really down tonight (ha, look at that pun)
So I was born this way, I know. I don't remember a time in my life where they were perky or at all self supporting. I don't recall any major permanent changes resulting from pregnancy or nursing, either shape or size wise. I have no tissue above my IMF. Literally, nothing. It's ALL below it. But I looked in the mirror tonight and my nipples are starting to point down.
Now, I've wanted a reduction since the day they grew in. I've hated them most of my life, and I mean really hated them. It led to years of a deep-seated self loathing, poor self image, no self confidence, etc. I've hated the attention they draw, tried to hide them forever, and so on. I moved past that for a while after finding ABTF. I love my Polish bras and the way they fit and the shape they give. They lift and put them back up on my chest where they belong. So while I'm wearing a bra, I can fake it, and it helped me move past my body image issues and intense desire for a reduction.
That's the problem though. Polish bras are ALL I can wear. Forget about a strapless. Or a swimsuit that looks like an actual swimsuit, not a glorified bra. Forget about something costing less than $50, or something I can have in my hands in less than 6 weeks. Forget about ever going braless, it's uncomfortable, or owning a trendy open back shirt, or anything without straps really. I'm limited in my wardrobe choices by my boobs.
At least until now, my nipples have pointed out like they should. Not anymore. My nip to neck keeps increasing. They keep creeping downward at an alarming rate and I'm only 31! I used to worry about what they'd look like when I was 50. Now I worry what they'll look like next year
Genetics, aging, and a bit of weight loss has done me no favors. All my body hate is back tonight. I want a reduction, or at least a lift, SO BAD. I don't even want a big reduction, just a tiny one, but I don't want to be limited anymore, I've been restricted my entire life. I want to be free, to wear whatever I want. I want to be more comfortable. I want these things OFF MY BELLY! And the real kicker is, this would be THE year to do it, while I have breaks between nursing semesters and before I start working as an RN. But I have no insurance coverage, and don't have the money in my bank.
Talk me up here. I know a reduction is financially out of reach, but I can't find my positivity tonight. So if you have anything encouraging to say, tell me. I'm so positive all the time on my blog and lately I've been feeling like I'm totally faking it. And if anyone has had a reduction and/or lift, if you're comfortable sharing your story I'd love to hear it. I know I need to find inner peace, but I also know it's not something I'm going to just move past and never seriously consider.
Filed under Bras ups and downs
23 comments
((Hugs)) I've been there lots of times with boob hate. A bra that fits helps but it's not a cure all. I definitely get tired of not being able to shop locally and buy cheap cute swimsuits. sometimes I don't think about them but sometimes I wish they were smaller and cuter. Honestly it helps that I'm over 30 now. I mean a lot of 30 year olds are still very cute and perky but I'm multiple kids later and nothing looks the same. Not even my ankles. So I worry about my boobs less because they are at least covered up..... Until I can't button a shirt I should be able to or zip a dress etc and then I get all annoyed again. But sometimes just at the clothes makers and not at myself... I. Mean. Really. They aren't that big! They are plenty big but still they aren't that big. I said this a couple week ago but really I feel like time is an equalizer and I'm starting to notice its effects on other people too and I don't know if it's menopause or just having kids or normal middle age weight... no idea but I notice my size looks more and more "average". I'm not sure this is s very good pep talk but I'm trying lol.
As far as the reduction I know a lady who was so incredibly happy. She did it when she was around 50. I know another person who did it in her early 20s and kind of regrets it and says really things are the same size they were before 10 years later. A lift sounds less invasive but I really have no idea. I'm sure my husband would want to veto any ideas I have about smaller boobs which makes me feel better in the end. Sometimes I want to rebel against this idea that youth is the goal of all beauty, but of course it's not that easy. I get tired of bras taking up so much space in my mine and life sometimes!
I agree you really do look lovely in you posts and your bras look lovely too.
Oh no hugs! I look at your photos and you have such a great bust! We cannot avoid gravity. It is part of growing older. Maybe writing about breasts all the time needs a break? A moment to not think about them? Maybe take a holiday from writing? Your readers will not mind and it will give you a chance to just breathe and not think boobs :)
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