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Not sure if I want a breast reduction
I'm 20 years old, 5'3, 124lb and a 30F bra size. I feel like it's been hard for me to get used to having bigger breasts because I used to be around a 32B/30C until I was 16. I also ran cross-country in high school, and it's a lot easier to run with small breasts. Not only that, but I have a small frame, and I think that smaller breasts are more proportional and make sense for me.
It's really only been in the last 2 years that my breasts have gotten so big that I find it harder to exercise and to fit into clothing. It's hard for me to find clothing that is cute, functional and stylish. I don't like that I often have to buy a size up in my tops so that they will fit over my breasts. I might not be as thin as I was in high school, but I still have a small waist, and the larger sizes don't show that off at all. I also hate that there are lots of cute tops that my less busty friends can wear, but if I wear that shirt, it looks too sexual or inappropriate. When I go shopping, I mostly tend to think about how tops and dresses will look on my boobs. With the loose and flowy trend, most of them make me look fat, and I leave feeling sad about my body.
It's also been hard for me to find bras that fit. I'm pretty much on the borderline of being sized out of all of the American brands. I generally like the UK brands like Panache and Freya better, but I feel jealous of other girls who can just walk into a store and buy bras off the rack without having to order online.
I've come to realize that I need to be okay with spending more money on a good bra because if I just stick with the ones that I can find in store, I'm pretty much forced to buy a larger band size in order for my breasts to fit. Generally, I don't suffer from back pain too much (I occasionally have bad days though), but before I learned my proper size and when I was wearing bras that were too big in the band and too small in the cup, my back and shoulders would hurt me all of the time. Honestly, I think that wearing the correct size has helped reduce back pain for me more than any other strategy that I tried, but I still don't like the fact that it's not very socially acceptable to be a 30F. I don't appreciate that half of the people I know don't even believe this size exists, and the other half of the people I know think that a 30F is only possible if you're a stripper or they're fake.
Sometimes though, I don't feel justified in wishing I could have smaller breasts because there are plenty of women out there who are a 28/30 band size and have larger breasts than I do, and are perfectly happy that way. I wish I could accept my body the way it is, but I'm uncertain if I'll ever get there. I also don't quite feel justified in wanting a reduction, because like I said, wearing a smaller band size and therefore distributing the weight of my breasts across my torso instead of putting all of the pressure on the straps helped a lot with my back pain. Part of me thinks that physical pain is the only valid reason to have a breast reduction, and that surgery should only be a last resort for people who have tried everything, but are still in pain every day. Basically I question if I want a reduction for the wrong sorts of reasons. I wonder if it's enough that I feel self-conscious about quadboobing out of my bra, or that my breasts bounce too much when I try to exercise, or that I don't feel good about going shopping because most clothing isn't made for girls with a large bust. I find the idea of surgery scary, but I also find it daunting that if I don't do anything, I'll probably never be able to walk into a chain lingerie store and try on my size. I don't necessarily worry that I'd regret it, or that I would be unhappy with the scars, but I do wonder if I'll look back and wonder if I could have learned to love my body the way that it is now.
Does anyone have any advice for me? Do you think that my own emotional and self-esteem issues around my big breasts are something that I can work on? How can I stop living in the past and remembering how much easier it was to be a C cup?
Filed under Boob and body issues
27 comments
I don't think your reasons for wanting a reduction are invalid at all. People have breast augmentation to feel better about themselves. Why shouldn't you have a breast reduction for the same reason?
My advice would be to talk to a surgeon, or more than one. Get your questions answered and listen to all the pros and cons so you can make an informed decision.
On the other side, at your age you may still be growing. You could have reduction surgery this year and find yourself back at the same size a few years from now. Your views on things might also change a lot over the next few years. As your body and your friends bodies become more womanly you may find you like having big boobs. Perhaps you want to set a time limit for yourself, like in 2 years you will decide one way or another. You can still talk to a doctor now so you'll have all the facts for when you do make a decision.
As far as dressing yourself goes, if loose and flowy doesn't work for you, develop your own style. Retro pinup styles are popular now, and a big bust is an asset when wearing those kinds of clothes. They are more fitted and will show off your waist.
Also, stop telling people your bra size. It's none of their business, especially if they're going to act like jackasses about it.
Whatever you decide to do, just know that you have a right to love your body and that's reason enough to have surgery if you want it.
I am very much in favor of people doing what they need to do to make life work for them, so I think a reduction could potentially be an idea for you. However, I also strongly agree with finallygotboobs that there are many factors at this time in your life that make it harder to establish what the best choice is just yet. I'm big on honoring your gut feelings and I think the fact that you feel torn/uncertain right now is a pretty good indicator of the fact that you're not ready to make a commitment.
I think instead of thinking of your boob size as a problem that might or might not continue to feel like a problem, it could be helpful to think of what your expectations are regarding the (currently hypothetical) "solution" of having smaller boobs.
From my old-lady-of-38 perspective, I see some expectations that are accurate (30C/D boobs typically are less eye-catching than 30F, women with smaller breasts are often perceived a little differently at least for those superficial enough to judge on those things, and super loose and baggy clothes don't obscure the rest of your form). So if those are still your dominant and most important expectations a couple years from now I think you will be happy with a reduction, assuming you don't grow more--or on the contrary lose a bunch of weight and then find yourself smaller than you wanted to be.
I also do see some expectations that could be a little off-base, however:
* feeling better about people's opinion of your bra size -- you are very rapidly approaching an age where it will become an absurdity for anyone except your romantic partner and the sales assistant to know your bra size. So this is going to become a moot point for, like, 99.7% of your life from here on out. You are also going to develop a firmer sense of personal boundaries as you get older and more confident, and I'm ready to bet a smart young woman like yourself will, in a few years, also be surrounded with friends who have some manners and couth and know better than to make comments about your anatomy.
* being able to easily find and comfortably wear matrix sized bras. I hate to say it. but 30 bands still aren't THAT widely available, and unless you gain a lot of weight, most of us only get bonier around the ribcage as we age. I know I have lost a ton of padding in that area. At 5'3" you could wind up closer to 28 before you know it. You are not out of synch with the bra market--the market is out of synch with real women's bodies, and the only reason other women with your same torso size "can" wear those Target and VS bras is that, you guessed it, they are wearing bands that are a good 4 to 6 inches too big for them. Could you go back to that? Yes. Will you want to, after spending all that money on a reduction? Doubtful. It's hard to un-know what a properly fitting undergarment feels like.
* feeling great forevermore about being able to wear all the loose flowy drapey clothing styles that are "in" right now. Girl, you have NO IDEA how many fashion trends you are going to see cycle in and out of style in your adult life. And they go by so fast your head will spin. They go from small bust friendly to large bust friendly and back allll the time. Find your style, find the things you love, find the look that is YOU, and then see how you feel. Most people aren't there yet at 20. If "you" in terms of body image and style and general vibe means Phryne Fisher flappertastic, yes, maybe a reduction is in your future. But "you" could also be a fantastic to-be-determined figure proudly rocking a full bust. Only time will tell.
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