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Silicone Cookies
I have some bras that wrinkle or gape slightly at the top, sometimes only on my smaller side. This seems like a pretty easy fix, with a set of small pads to even out the asymmetry or add a little boost. I don't have any such pads besides the flimsy removable lining that comes with bikini tops (which is useless in every way).
So a few weeks ago, I bought some push up pads from aerie for this purpose. They came in an opaque box, decorated only with a picture of a flawless hourglass-figured girl and no way to see the contents. "Go from perky to perkier," said the instructions on the back. The box was strangely heavy but I didn't think much of it. That should have tipped me off.
When I got home and opened it, I was in for a surprise. The pads are made of silicone with a clear polyurethane lining. They weigh more than my own boobs and they are ridiculously, hilariously, comically large. I'm fairly certain they're bigger than the padding in my Victoria's Secret push-up bra, and that thing is made of nothing but foam and lies.
It said nothing on the box about adding any cup sizes -- in fact, I believe it simply promised "a little lift" -- but the only one of my bras I could fit them into while still leaving enough room for my boobs was the 28E Panache Andorra that is 2 cups too big for me. Well, with the pads in, that bra fits me. Tightly, even. However, as it's made of sheer lace and the pads are shiny shiny silicone, this is not at all a wearable combination.
Attempting to wear them with literally any other bra I own resulted in quadraboob and nip slips galore. In the case of certain demis, I couldn't even fit the entire pad in the cup.
As endlessly amusing as this was (especially given aerie's relentless "real girl" advertising spiel), I am still lacking a usable set of pads. As for these ones... if anyone is interested in them for the price of shipping, shoot me a message. They're aaaaall yours.
Filed under Bras ups and downs
8 comments
Hahaha so you ordered some cookies but they sent you a couple pound cakes? That's so ridiculous. I'm sure there is a market for women wanting a major size boost so why misrepresent the product?
"... amusing as this was (especially given aerie's relentless "real girl" advertising..."
@mercury, good one!
"...so you ordered some cookies but they sent you a couple pound cakes..."
@wendybien, this is going to be a classic!
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