Ok, here's the deal about Asos Swim. THEY LIE. They claim their house brand sizing is UK. It's not. It's US. I learned this the hard way, by ordering a "30G" in 2 different styles, and they came tagged as UK 30F/US 30G. Since I wear a UK 28G, I knew it was trouble before I even tried it on. Little did I know how bad it could actually get.

The other style I'll review later is workable. But not only is this hidden underwire bad boy not the size you'd expect it to be when ordering, it runs incredibly small. The 30G was so bad I didn't take pictures, because they would have been XXX rated and unsuitable for anyone's eyes. Simply put, it was a nipple hat. I immediately returned it, and they had no other 30 band sizes available. Since the 30 band was tight anyways, after a little mental math I went with this - which, when I ordered it, I actually had to order "32I" from the drop down box. This is 2 full band sizes and 2 full cup sizes up from what I usually wear.

There are positives about this bikini top that I promise I will eventually write about, so my advice to you (if you want to try it) is to size up. And then size up again. Seriously - order a size that sounds so utterly ridiculous to you that it makes you giggle when you're lying in bed at night thinking about it.

Firstly, the measurements. This "32" band stretches to 28.75. Cup width is 6.1, cup depth is 9.0. Anyone who pays attention to me knows that 6.1 is a full inch wider than what I actually need, and 9.0 is most definitely not the typical depth of a 32G anything. This actually doesn't fit me in any remotely technical definition of the word, but it's still good enough, plus I can't return it anymore for reasons I'll mention in a bit.

The fit:
Because it is so wide and the cups are relatively tall, once you find a size that appropriately covers your tatas for public display in a location other than a nude beach, it gives somewhat of a minimizing effect. Personally, that is fine with me, because I don't want to take my titties for a walk on the beach. I'd rather they be flattened/contained so I can chase after my kid, instead of in-your-and-everyone-else's-face. To each their own, though, so if you don't want a minimizing bikini top - move along, this isn't the style you're looking for.

This little top is offered in a variety of solid colors and apparently a print, that I saw nowhere on the website. I picked white, because white goes with everything including my tan, and I can get whatever cheap bottoms I find on sale at Target and be good. The website says this style is lightly padded - it's not. It's constructed of a solid swim-fabric outer layer with a mesh inner layer. This would be okay in black or any other color, but the the downside to this "white" is that it's more transparent than actually white. Seriously ladies, I could SEE the COLOR of my NIPPLES through this thing when it was DRY. I didn't want to chance getting it wet.... *hides* so I stole some nude colored removable liner pads from an old bikini top and stitched them into the lining of this top. Get this - you can see the nude colored pads through the top!! But at this point, since I've messed with it so much it's not returnable anymore, I don't care and I'd rather some stranger be staring at my liner pads than at my nipples. Good thing it was only $17.

Do note - despite it being unlined, it is supportive and structured enough that you shouldn't need any kind of padding or additional lining to improve the actual shape the top gives.

The positives - it is supportive, the wires are long and tall on the sides instead of those crappy little 5" flat "underwires" in VS underwired bikini tops, and there is side boning. Side boning, in a $17 bikini top! Everybody dance! The side wings are tall to hold all of your side boob in (and possibly poke the armpits of short ladies everywhere), and despite being minimizing, there is a bit of cleavage. The top does have the effect of pushing your girls to the center. The gore is low so it's not stabby, and my favorite part about this whole mess of a swim top is that the wires are hidden, so it doesn't scream "I'm a bra made of swimsuit material." I have this thing about bra swim tops - if I wanted to wear a bra to the beach, I'd wear my damn bra to the beach. I picked this style specifically because online it did not look like a bra, and in reality, it really doesn't. The super low gore means I could tie a little bow around it to change up the look a bit, which I'll probably do because I have these polka-dot hipster bottoms with removable faux side ties that are just sitting in my closet taking up space and at least now they'll have a purpose.

Summary - simple and cute, supportive, would be great for wide and shallow ladies, size way-the-hell-up, and don't order white.

White colorway

This bra is not owned any more

Updated on Jul 09, 2015 Flag this

• Show all comments (9)
• 1

  That's crazy with the sizing up! I've never had that problem with them, but I've mostly ordered one pieces. Their sizes in general are really small though. I order from them in a size 2 F-G cup when I buy my swimsuits. They are low cost and quite supportive though. I'm definitely guilty of keeping VS bikini tops around even though they're about as supportive as mermaid shells.
  

• 4

  This review made me snort-laugh, and now I have to clean coffee off my iPad. Well done! :)

• 1

  I swear they make their bands with the old +4 method in mind! Ive had a similar experience where i could not even come CLOSE to getting a 30 hooked when i measure 27"! I mean i could have almost used like double the band amount that was there!

• Oh that's crazy! I could hook the 30. In fact I prefer the 30, but the 32 is ok. I mean, I couldn't get a cup size big enough in a 30 band... they only go up to "I" and I don't think that would have been enough.

• Haha woops just reread it! I thought you said the 30 was too tight in the band :)

• It was snug. I could get it on though, and with swim tops especially, the tighter the better.

• That sounds like a mess! I'm sorry they didn't work out for you :(

  I was prompted with a "switch to US version" or something for their site on mobile.
  It said "you'll see localized stories, currency, and sizing".
  Idk if that's supposed to mean US sizing?
  I think they should just stick to UK completely. I feel like most people who buy outside of the bra matrix use UK sizing anyway.

  Makes me wonder if things can get mixed up when they see someone ordering from the US(regardless of if they've switched to US version?).

  But yeah, this makes me super anxious to ever buy from their site for sure :(
  Guess I lucked out with eBay.

• 2

  That could totally make sense, if when I went to the US size they converted the sizes to be "helpful." But some tops that weren't ASOS brand said US 30G or whatever size in the drop down box. ASOS tops didn't have the US before the size so I just assumed it was UK like they said it was! Oh well, at least returning the one was super easy and free.

• I saw that and was thinking that while it sounds helpful, I could totally see it causing problems if it does what I thought it might do!

  That's a relief that the return was easy though :)

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