My teen has regular Decos in 28GG and 28H, and while Deco is soft, smooth seamless and subtle, making it a favorite in rotation... she truly despises the gore.

Understandable. So we've been on the hunt for a plunge version with racerback option which came up a size small, but seemed as though it might be somewhat forgiving, being more open in the center and better suited to a very small frame. One finally turned up. In a favorite color combination, new and unused! It works! It's filling all the needs, and checking all the boxes! For a super hard to fit combo of upper full, close set and short bustline! Hallelujah. Back to regular life forgetting about boobs, right?

However. This is where it all goes off the rails

You see. There were... Problems.

For even with a perfect fit you can never 'have it all'. Or, as kid affectionately calls this, 'The Bra Made From Chainsaw Blades' .

Week 1. Total obsession. Glee. Some occasional hunching, and asking me for gift tape. I think nothing of this whatsoever, who hasn't felt the joy of not being stabbed in the sternum?
Week 2. Admitting defeat is the first step to redemption, but this might be a premature tactic for some. Deco plunge shows up on my sewing machine, I'm asked later whether the 'itchy strip of interfacing' sewn inside, where the band and wing join, can be removed. "It's kind of pokey". I gently say that I can pick that off but it might take some time to find a replacement strip of material to serve the same purpose- Deco Plunge might not be available for awhile. Bra leaves the machine zone, and vanishes back into the Void.
Week 3. Kid is going braless. This has never happened, and would never happen, but I say nothing and go about my business. Huh, we're running low on bandaids. I just restocked with what seemed like a lifetime supply? Also we've run out of mini pads, during a non menses time of the month. Adding items to shopping list.
Week 4. The Reveal. I'm approached with a morbid and uncharacteristic admission that I Might Be Needed To Examine Something. Expecting another tarantula hiding under the bed or maybe a stray cat in a closet, mental assessment of carriers and exterminators come to mind. No, just pulling up a hoodie to show 5 or 6" of what looks like a bloody raw series of tiny knife wounds, running from just behind my kid's armpits toward her spine.

We fetch the medical kit and sanitize this bizarre pair of deep welts while I apologize profusely for how painful the whole process is, and realize on very close inspection that this is not really chaffing, it's many series of tiny stabs. Kiddo explains that she can't wear anything because it hurts so much, and honestly I can't really imagine any kind of heat rash or boobsweat situation that compares. It finally hits me. "Hey, so what ended up happening with that aqua deco you had?"
Silence, leaving, and returning with the offending item. On close inspection, it's not the sheer vertical strip that itched... it turns out that the bands sewn horizontally along the side are some kind of cheapo antiroll elastic that becomes razorlike when pulled slightly, and has rows of stiff reinforcing rubber pointing at the sharp edge.

I've never seen a half inch lingerie elastic so rough or stiff, but I guess there's a first time for everything. Someone clearly thought, 'Oh well the color matches and it has pretty loops so it should be fine'.

It was not fine. Luckily Jennifer Fairbanks sent me some of her ultra soft bramaking elastic which saved this Deco from the trash, my girl is on the mend but still scarred, and we've all learned valuable lessons about being extremely nitpicky about textiles.

Updated on Sep 17, 2023 Flag this

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