Bra fitting help » Difference between sister sizes

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Marks & Spencer » Unknown Model » 38D 38:4

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  Jillsas is right. It is really impossible to know. You can really only use the sister size method to go up one size and down one size. Anything more than that and there are too many variables. Meaning you can't just expect a 32FF to be the same as a 38D even though theoretically you are correct. As you move up and down the scale other proportions will change such as shape, width and the depth of the cups.

  Sometimes finding your correct size can take a little time and patience and getting to know not just your measurements but also your breast shape. If you can't go in store to try a whole heap of bras on to get an idea of how a 32FF sits on you you may just have to buy and try. It sounds like 32FF may be a good starting point for you but you may find that it is just that, a place to start. Based on your measurements a 34 band may also work for you.

  The bottom of the cups on your 38 bra could be empty for a number of reasons. One may be that the cups are not deep enough. Your back band shouldn't be sitting too low but rather parallel to the front. Likewise your underwire shouldn't be sitting too low but rather just outside your breast perimeter. Pulling the band tighter on a size 38 that needs to be tightened quite a lot will affect the intended design and shape of the bra. More than likely it will just squash the depths of the cup, hence giving you a quad boob look.

  Like you I went through a few purchases to get confident with finding a well fitting bra and size. For me it was easy enough to re-sell any bras I purchased that didn't quite fit so I haven't really lost any money.

  You need a fresh start at least 2 sizes down from a 38 band. I don't think altering a 38 band will help you with your fit issues.

  Good luck with your new size
  

  Updated on December 12, 2013 Flag this

  
  

  • In the past 3 years I've thrown away countless bras and I know that I have to keep doing so before I find the right one. In these 3 years I've tried to find a bra in 4-5 cities. The sales ladies always roll their eyes and bring me D cups to try on. I've heard them talk to each other and say that there's an idiot in the dressing room who thinks that her breasts are big even though they're tiny. I've had sales ladies say that to my face. I've had sales ladies *slap* my breasts in an effort to prove that the bra was empty. It's made me insecure. I just dread buying a bra that is too big. Plus, I'm impatient. :P

    I think that a 34 would fit better right now because I've gained weight and I keep ignoring it. But I'll lose it again and I'll also stretch the band like I always do and it will fit pretty soon, so I ordered a 32FF. It's the cups I'm worried about...
    

  • I'm so sorry to hear you've had such terrible experiences. For the terrible fitters you've had to deal with, I would write emails or letters to the store or manager or place a call to their manager. It might not change anything but they could also be behaving against store policy. And I would never go back there. If you don't have any choice but to visit those stores, I would either refuse their help, or if they have to get items for you, at the first comment to you or others I would tell them that their input is not needed, you can decide on your own and you are spending YOUR money, whether or not they agree with you. And that you will be wearing it, and it is none of their business to be making comments, they are supposed to provide good service, not a personal critique on a customers body and ideas. I hope it will give you some confidence and bravery. Also, bring a friend with you to the store that isn't shopping so they can be with you and deter the bad employees.

    For a band being too tight or loose depending on weight, buy a bra extender for a few dollars which can tide you over if you buy something online and it is quite uncomfortable. I've bought bands that are too tight, or take several washes and wears before they relax and need an extender until then. You can also make one out of an old bra if you want to cut it up.

  • It's usually owners of small shops that behave this way. In bigger stores, I might get an eye-roll and/or some sarcasm but that's about it. As I said below, I've been going bra shopping with my mom for years and I learned not to tolerate them years before I started buying bras. I don't really care about what they say but I do enjoy proving them wrong. I hadn't realized that they'd affected me so much until I ordered that bra. These are all experienced saleswomen but it seems like they've only learned how to pray on customers' insecutities and not how to help them. Growing up around my mom, I used to want breasts like hers and. So, apparently, there's a part of me that thinks that they're right when they say that I'm just trying to convince myself that I have big breasts.

    My mom has displaced tissue under her breasts, under her arms and on her back. She has huge dents on her shoulders, she can't stand straight and she is in constant pain. She is terrified of surgeries so she won't get a reduction and she is also terribly shy. She'd just buy whatever they told her to until I stopped letting her. I'd say that she's spilling out of the cups and the band is huge and they'd tell me that my mom is a freak of nature and she has to buy cups that are too small so her breasts will look smaller. I'd tell them that if she wanted them to look smaller she would buy a minimiser but I didn't understand why they needed to look smaller. "She's just going to walk around with breasts like that???" My mom would get all horrified and bright red because the size of her breasts made her a slut. Also, I was a slut because I didn't think it was wrong for a woman to have big breasts. A "friend" of hers used to order bras just for my mom. She never even tried to find her size, she'd lie and say that they don't come in a size bigger than H. Every time, she'd order at least 5 bras and she'd make my mom buy them all to return the favor. These were Bali bras (my mom loves this brand) and she charged them 60 euros each. The day I found out, she'd also told me that my breasts didn't fit in the bra she gave me to try on because they were too saggy. So saggy they should belong to an 80-year-old. I was 23 at the time and my breasts weren't saggy. I cursed her out. A year later, I'd chewed out at least one employee in every shop my mom visited, she stopped buying bras. Three years after that, she finally let me order one online.

    As anxious as I am to find my own size and --hopefully-- get rid of the pain on my right breast and the feeling that my breasts are suffocating, I just can't wait for my mom to find her size. Also, I'm just really fed up with saleswomen at lingerie shops, can you tell? :P

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  It's really hard to tell (sorry!). I'm 32FF and 32F, and I find that I fit best in narrow deeper cups. It's possible that it could be a shape mismatch. Pulling the band down to your waist won't really help unfortunately, since you should wear your band parallel to the ground, which means it should be parallel directly underneath where your breasts end. Wearing your bra as high as possible without spilling out underneath actually gives the best support, so that's why I'm not sure what to say about your 38D. You can try tightening the band several ways:

  http://www.venusianglow.com/2010/07/tutorial-tightening-bra-band-without.html

  http://www.venusianglow.com/2011/11/bra-band-tightening-tutorial-using.html

  There's many more methods.

  Updated on December 12, 2013 Flag this

  

  Jillsas

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  • I know that I'm wearing my bras wrong but I don't really have a choice. I burned my right breast 5 years ago and about a quarter of it is scar tissue. I can tell if a bra is small or big by how my breast hurts. :P I can only wear the two bras I've uploaded here because they're the ones that hurt the least. I pull the band down to my waist to bring my boobs up where they're supposed to be.

    I looked at your pictures and I can't be wearing the same size as you. Your breasts way bigger and your torso is thinner... I ordered a 32FF yesterday and now I'm regretting it... =/

  • Ouch, that sounds painful.

    You do look a bit smaller than me, but not by much. My side torso is super wide (you can see this in my pictures of my CHP Brzoskwinka). Perhaps you'd do better in a 34E or 34F instead. May I ask which bra? I can imagine that certain materials might be less comfortable. Some brands that are known for making things with really nice materials include Only Her, Comexim, All Undone, Harlow and Fox (though I'm pretty sure almost no one can afford that), Mimi Holliday, and Masquerade, so maybe that will irritate less (I'm not sure how that works sorry).

  • Yeah, it is painful. The material isn't usually a problem, as long as it's smooth? I think that's the word for it. I can't wear lace, for example because it scratches. And I like to have padding over it because I feel like it's protected. I've had tops and purses scratch it over the bra. The skin I burned just has a slightly different color but I pretty much burned my areola off. I didn't like it much, anyway. At least now it's unique~

    I bought a bra called Fantasie Savannah Padded Bra because it says padded on the name. :P I like half cups better but the straps would be too wide. Now I'm thinking that the cups will be huge and completely empty...

  • That bra is only half padded. There's mesh on the top section. I have that exact bra. If you really like that bra, I can send you mind because mine's not very good on me.

    There is soft stretchy lace, but I can see how that would be an issue going into your first forays of bra fit. Protip, I'd avoid Cleo. Their materials aren't very good and are also heavily starched, so it'd be difficult to tell if it would be good for you without a good soak and then you wouldn't be able to return it. Panache is also very heavily starched, but it uses better materials. Not all lace is scratchy. I actually prefer most lace over certain other materials (like the materials used in the Gossard Superboost).

    Bare in mind that not unpadded bras are lace either. Like most of Freya's unpadded stuff is not lace (also I like their materials). Anything that says t-shirt in it's name is also likely padded.

  • I was talking about materials that I can wear over the burn. I love lace but I've bought pretty lace bras that had the lace on the outside and it still scratched. The burn is also why I want the padding. Tops scratch it over the bra, purses scratch it over the bra, I bump into things and it hurts, etc. Having padding over it makes me feel safe. :P

    I don't really like the bra but it says padded on the title and it's cheap. I'm also tired of bright colored bras showing through my clothes, so I wanted a black one. I figured I'd buy cheap bras until I found my size and then look into it. What brands would you recommend to a beginner?

  • Panache is a really good beginner brand. They don't have much padded stuff, and their padded stuff is not well designed which is why I'd avoid that. Cleo likewise is a good beginner brand. Both the Juna and the Maddie are very good padded bras, but they're both really shallow. The Freya Deco is an excellent moulded padded option, along with Fantasie's padded stuff (Rebecca, Smoothing). Freya padded half cups might also be worth a shot. Masquerade is more expensive, but it has really lovely padded stuff (the materials are nice). I also really like the Panache Sport. It's a padded sports bra, and it works super well and is extremely comfortable. It has gel encased wires! Also, the Parfait Charlotte is really nice from what I can tell (also fairly cost effective). That's all I can think of for fairly good beginner bras.

    Are you in the UK (just asking this because of the M&S bra)? If so, you can try some of these on at Bravissimo and Debenhams.

  • I'm not from the UK, I'm Greek. I kept buying bras at M&S because the women who worked there left me the hell alone. Everywhere else they kept smiling condescendingly and telling me that I was a B cup. You wouldn't believe the fits I had to throw to get them to let me try on my size. I thought that they didn't take me seriously because I was a teenager but that's just how they treat clients, apparently.

    I always bought half cups, they looked the best on me. But now I think that the straps would be too far apart. I also have displaced tissue on my sides. I don't know how the shape of the cups changes with the size but the half cups I used to have didn't look like they'd cover it. Or at least I think they wouldn't, I haven't worn one that fits in many years.

  • Just so you know, most things (not all), labelled balconette are half cups. Also, not all half cups have wide set straps.

    I don't know much about Greece unfortunately. Online, M&S sells sizes big enough for you but I'm not sure if they carry them in store in Greece. There are also a lot of Polish brands available to you at a lower cost of shipping than I would have (I live in the US). I don't think any of them are easy beginner brands, but a lot more of them are padded and use really comfortable materials. Unfortunately, some of the more prominent ones don't grade their straps.

  • There's nothing to know about Greece. My mom has huge breasts (side effect from being pumped full of hormones in the early '80's) and I've gone bra shopping with her in many different towns. Bras come up to a DD. If you need bigger than that is white or beige, it's a full cup and probably a minimiser. And the band is bigger than 85. M&S brings the same things except you can occasionally find black bras and they bring smaller bands.

    I avoid balconettes because the center gore always digs into my skin and it's uncomfortable and sometimes even causes wounds at night. Today I woke up to find 14 bloody dots right where the center gore of the bra in the picture ends. I suppose you can tell if it is a balconette or a half cup by looking at the center gore?

    I've read a few articles about polish brands but I've also read things like "you need to go up a cup", etc. I thought I'd put off trying them until I found my size. I'm definitely going to start shopping there. Stores that offer custom sizing would be great for my mom, I think.

    Thank you so much for being kind enough to answer all these questions!

  • Balconettes can be half cups. Usually it means 3/4 cup though, or half cups that are angled more like a plunge. There's no real accepted definition of a balconette.

    I highly recommend wearing wireless bras when you sleep if you want to wear one at all, just so you know.

    I'm glad to be of assistance!

  • The fitters at my local stores told me to shop in the children's section for trainer bras because of my small band size or to wear A cups, even though in the change room there is breast tissue escaping everywhere in their bra styles. They tell me they don't carry any bras in my size, which they don't tell me my size except by bringing me much too small bras. I totally sympathize. I familarized myself with a local store that carries a broad range of sizes, and refuse help and browse myself. And when asked what sizes I want I give them a range and pick up the sizes they don't want to hand me. I know it doesn't fix anything, but maybe it will make it a little easier.

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  As far as I can tell the sister size for 38D is 32F. So if your calculation is correct then the cup should be too small. An interesting aspect about sister sizes is that the cups become narrower as you go down in the band, so it's hard to tell with that big a difference. Here's a good blog post on the subject. http://blog.butterflycollection.ca/2013/04/what-sister-size-bras-look-like.html

  Updated on December 13, 2013 Flag this

  
  

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  I just want to note that 38D and 32FF are not actually sister sizes. 38D = 36DD = 34E = 32F, so 32FF is one cup larger than this. It's pretty common to not only go down a few band sizes and go up a cup size or two at the same time. But as others said it's hard to know what's going to fit well until you try them on.

  Updated on December 14, 2013 Flag this

  
  

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