So I received what I thought would be my first properly fitting bra.. Well, it wasn't. I underestimated my cup size and now I need to find a way to get a 28FF and I guess sell my 28F? This adventure is losing my excitement...
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So I received what I thought would be my first properly fitting bra.. Well, it wasn't. I underestimated my cup size and now I need to find a way to get a 28FF and I guess sell my 28F? This adventure is losing my excitement...
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Yep, from what I saw you are a 28ff if not G in some bras.
Do yourself a favor and don't order that bra again, or any other like it from freya because it won't work for your shape.
If you want to stick with freya - go with deco or their halfcups. No freya unpadded balonettes.
And I think cleo and masquerade might be good brands for you. You are definitely fuller on top.
Yep, I totally agree with Vee. I saw your pictures and that bra is much too small for you in the cups. Just to make sure you wouldn't need even bigger cups than 28G, are you aware of the swoop and scoop method? It's a method to make sure all the breast tissue is collected inside the cups :)
However, depending on where you live and the availability to try on Freya bras in local shops, I would never discourage you to try unpadded Freya bras :) But I would however discourage you to try it if you're ordering online, just like Vee did. Why? Because it IS unlikely it's going to fit you, but it never hurts to try if you won't lose any money in the process (you would if you were ordering, shipping costs back and forth). Good luck! Never hesitate to put up a fit request here on Bratabase, we're all happy to help! :)
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...before I start a crazy alteration that will turn Cleo Meg into a halterneck bikini.
I have completely lost it.
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Let me just ask... Why not? :D Do you wear your Cleo Meg on a daily basis, do you have a lack of bikini tops?
Neither. I don't wear it daily because of the 2 hook closure. I do have enough bikinis, but they are either too revealing ore too much coverage.
Meg gives me an awesome balance between coverage and cleavage for beach and hase a cute retro feel to it. I could pair it with some navy/white stripe or polka dot bottoms mix and match style.
What I don't want happening is me messing the bra up and anding up with no meg end no bikini.
Because I would need ro do a strap and band transplant if it is to work :/
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So I have the S Wisniowka(?) in a 65J and it fits perfectly. The band is the right size, but the elastic on it can get quite painful at the end of the day when I twist in certain ways, as well as the underwire. I know the bra isnt' too tight(stupid EM) but there just isn't any padding or smooth material to help curb the digging in pain. Any ideas?
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Have you worn it with an extender just to make sure? Sometimes my EM's will bother me even though I know the band is not too small, and if I wear it with an extender, then it feels a lot better and still doesn't ride up (during PMS, I sometimes wear extenders because I can't stand anything that feels constricting.) Sometimes I wonder if maybe we really aren't supposed to wear EM bras as tight as others, though.
I think there's no solution really, if the elastic is the problem (Freya are experts on doing this; making an overly stretchy band with illegally tight strips of elastic on the bottom) then there's really no solution. I guess you'd have to take out the elastic and sew on another one, and not so tightly.
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My sister, who lives in Toronto, is visiting us here in AZ this week. I couldn't help initiating a "bra sizing" conversation. My sister, like me, is naturally skeptical, and when I told her I was wearing 28 and 30 bands she looked at me like I'd gone mental. I bet her that she wasn't wearing the best ... size possible for her. She INSISTED she wears the proper size for her body, because she's been fitted several times by "professional" bra fitters at exclusive department stores. She IS, she insisted, a 32B, (even though, she added, she mostly wears 34A, for comfort). She did not believe me that a tighter band turns out to be more comfortable than a loose one. Although we often pass for "twins", strangely, in the breasts category we are shaped very differently. While I have wide-rooted, side-sagging, "fatter" boobs, her's are more narrow-rooted, front-centered, and outward projecting. We are both relatively "shallow" on tops, but my sister has absolutely no "underarm rolls" or "side rolls". Her rib cage is slightly larger, but her shoulders are rounded exactly like mine.
My sister is one of those people who doesn't need to worry about "support"...in bras her breasts neither "lift" nor sag. Her front projection appears the same in her bandeau bras and her t-shirt bras! With this in mind I had her try on my ill-fitting 30C Tisha bra, which gives me nearly comical quad-boobs. It's amazing how different this bra fits on her! She has absolutely NO quad-boobing. Not even close, and she doesn't get squished anywhere in the cups. The bra fits her like a glove. She was delighted when she put it on, but was shocked that it was a 30 band. (She was thrilled to get a new bra as well.)
Then I had her try on my brand new Natori Endless Full-Coverage bra, which I hadn't even worn yet. It is sized 30D, but this bra gives me zero lift, "cuts" my breasts in half, and, from the front, makes me look like my breasts are sagging outward instead of pushing forward. I think the cups must run small on this model. On my sister, this Natori bra fits like a dream! I gave her this bras as well. (Bizarre how fun this can be!) The smaller band makes a big different in how her posture appears.
Like so many of us, she had believed that small bands (i.e. 32) came in A & B range cups, with occasional, very rare C cups. I told her I think she preferred size 34 bands, in actuality, because she needed more cup space than she'd been told she needed. She will take her new-found sizing experiments with her to Toronto when she returns, and, I hope, spread the knowledge!
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Love hearing these happy bra stories! Your sister is lucky to have you do all that for her!
I've worn a 36DD from VS for at least 6 years now, but over the last few months I lost some weight and noticed that the cups of bra were pretty loose. After searching the internet high and low for hints on bras, I came across the subreddit "A Bra That Fits" on Reddit. HOLY WOW!! It ... opened up a whole new universe to me. Using the measuring guide, I discovered that I'm a 34F to 34FF. Not only did I discover my true size, I learned that EVERYONE has bra troubles. Following the redditors suggestions, I ordered several new bras: Aviana Lace Soft Cup Bra, Elomi Underwire Side Support Bra, Curvy Kate Full-Fit Balconette, Panache Cleo Lucy and Marcie, and Freya Gem Underwire Balcony Bra.
Only the Cleo Lucy has come in so far. It's a gorgeous bra and fits pretty well. My only complaint is that the top edge of the cup is a bit tight and that can create quadboob, but that's easily concealable as I layer my tanks in the summer. Cleo Lucy is a balconette bra, and for round boobs like mine.....it isn't always the best fit.
A Bra That Fits is a life saver. If you haven't visited it yet, do so now.
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Quick fix for lucy - take in the gore! That will open up space on top and make it more full on top friendly.
http://boobiusmaximus.livejournal.com/1474.html
Oh, and JFR, Bratabase saved my life :)
@Vee, that alteration is for if the top edge of the lace cuts in, correct? Is there an alteration that can be done if there's a slight hint of quadboob where the cup meets the lace? I'd normally try a size up for a problem like this, but it's very slight and I'm afraid a size up would be too big. I tried pinching the gore to see if it helps; all it does is make the top edge of the lace gap and it doesn't do anything about the cup and lace seam quadboob. Thanks! :)
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I went to a bra fitting boutique with my sister-in-law. I had previously measured her myself. I would put her in a 30K-KK. The fitter put her in a 32GG Panache Tango balconette that gave her a ton of quadraboob and side boob and the band was too loose. I told the fitter the size was ... wrong, and she argued with me by saying that I was talking about US sizing and she was talking about UK sizing. *rage* I told her that I was talking about UK sizing too. I even told her that I wear a 30JJ but need a 28K. I explained to her that she was putting my SIL in a bra that had cups smaller than what I wear and that her boobs are larger than mine.
I told her that she was spilling out and she said 'Oh, no that's cleavage. This is a balconette.' The fitter even went to far as to ask me 'why are you freaking out?' Because you're wrong!!!! UGH Long story short, my SIL bought the ill-fitting bra for $60 (I know I can find it in her correct size for like $20-25 online) and completely ignored my advice and listened to the fitter because she's a 'professional'. Now she keeps complaining about it being uncomfortable and she's gone back to wearing her 38DDD bras. I've tried to help her more but she keeps saying 'I don't know where to look online blah blah blah'. I have told her countless times where to look and even told her that I could help her out. Nope, she won't listen. I'm done with helping her if she doesn't want to take the effort or even listen to my advice.
It actually hurt my feelings that my sister-in-law listened to someone else about bra fitting right in front of me. I'm ashamed to say that I cried about it...
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Sad to hear that you cried =/ But I don't think you should feel too ashamed about it :) Maybe you're just a sensitive person, I know I am, and when you *really* have knowledge about something and people still don't listen to you, they decide to listen to someone else who's "supposed" to know more than you... I know how it can feel like. Let me ask you, did these thoughts ever pop up in your head? "My sister in law does not trust me" "She gives any other person than me credit" ? Sorry to say it to you, but I just think your SIL is one of those "stupid" persons who won't stop to have another look at things. Haha, like if she was really bad at hula hooping... "Hula hooping is not for me! I'm simply not built for it!" instead, what she could've done was research how to hoop better online. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings by saying this about your SIL, but really, I think every person has one really annoying quirk, and that may be hers. I wouldn't waste any time on her if she didn't literally beg you later on, and actually listened to you.
Hi Ashewyn!
It’s just like anything else in life. When you know something well and you try and tell someone...they have to learn the hard way! We have this problem because we are trying to undo what has been pushed upon us for so long...wearing the wrong band and in turn, an ill-fitting cup! Until it becomes common knowledge to wear your natural band size, with a cup that covers all your breast tissue, without the bra digging into your skin...it will almost always be a challenge. It's so sad that companies still promote the wrong fit and train employees to be the so called 'professionals', wrong. Don't be too sad, it's her lost!
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I'm so confused. The last bra I bought was an 80C that a seller picked out for me. I had been wearing the same soft bra for ages. Who wants to spend money on something that won't fit anyway? I desperately needed more support, so going to the store and asking for help seemed like the reasonable thing to do.
The ... supposed expert of that store handed me a dozen underwired bras in the same sizes, all which hurt at the ribs. Eventually we both got tired of it. She asked me what I wanted in a good bra and that she had never heard of pain where I had it. And I gave in and bought it because i gave better support than what I wore and maybe it would adjust and stop hurting.
The bra did not get any better. (Surprise!) After wearing it for a few weeks I found myself in constant pain. The connection with the new bra wasn't obvious at first. The support was pretty great actually. But the pain was horrible and I realised I had to stop wearing it.
Since then I have jumped on every chance to learn about bras. I have studied women's breast on the Internet until I couldn't stand it anymore. (Boobs are great, but looking at them too long feels like disrespecting someone's privacy.) At least porn ads online are less annoying when you can study the bra's fit!
So what is a good fit for me? How tight am I supposed to pull the tape measure again? Are there really bras that fit, don't hurt AND let me breath? I haven't found the perfect bra yet after ordering a thousand online. Four of them are going back this weekend. So yesterday I went back to the same store where I was fit in an 80C because I saw they have a brand that seems to work for me. And to my surprise they had a bra that was decent. Not perfect but I could breath and my breast fit the cup. So why didn't the fitter show it to me? It boggles me. In the end I didn't want to spend a fortune on a bra that was probably too big in the band and went home empty handed. And what if they would question me, seeing how off their fitting is. Ugh, body shaming. The size of the bra? 75G.
And I'm amazed that this seems to be the same old story in the bra fitting world.
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For science sake, could we have your numbers?
Underbust tight exhaled, comfortably snug exhaled, loose inhaled.
Overbust standing, laying and leaning without a bra?
Few comfy bras come to mind you might enjoy, but I am reluctanct to suggest them when I don't know your size :)
Hopefully we can hape you find something comfy and supportive.
Certainly! It seems hard to find the time today, but I'll get back.
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I do study of bras in@ BB and @HerRoom , so I know or get as close to knowing the type of bra and how it will fit me as possible. It's kind of annoying when ppl put a bra in the base, and they have a pic ( stock photo) and the size with no write up or pic ... of bra or pic of them in the bra, I can get a review and stock photo on HR. This website is the only place that I can get candid full busted information - and full busted as the larger the cup size the better, I see how the bra does with cups above G.
ok I altered a 42DD ( the cup is still small) to a 40 band. While its still small in the cup- next time a 44/46 DD/DDD , whichever works better.- the band is great and it givers her better lift/support that the old @Goddess Sports brs she's been wearing on the tightest hooks. I will see about posting pics.
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http://xlhourglass.blogspot.dk/2013/07/1year-blogiversary-giveaway.html
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Just ordered a Masquerade Orla off of Simply Be USA and their size chart is the worst one I've seen ever. Like asos USA, they force you to order using US sizing. BUT THEIR CHART IS SO TERRIBLE. They don't carry FF for whatever reason, they skip the letter F, they skip the letter H! So ... confusing. I just ordered a 30L, so who the hell knows what I'm going to get (though I imagine it's going to be a 30H, which will likely be too big, but dammit it I wanted it bad and it was only 32 dollars). Yeah, someone should turn off my debit card until noon. I just wanted a fucking 32FF because of the way my Rhea fit!
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The most ridiculous part is that regardless of what country the bra came from (I ordered several from their in-house brand), the packaging when the bra arrives has the UK size listed. Check out the Simply Yours , Naturally Close , and Shapely Figures reviews I've submitted to see how some of their cup sizes ended up converting.
uptight That would have been the smart idea wouldn't have :) I wanted that too much. It's so sad that My Curves and Me doesn't ship to the US because I would have paid the extra 10 bucks to not going through the whole what the hell is this size?!
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So, with my mom's help, I was able to alter my Venus DD bikini top to fit. I normally wear a 30FF, and she pointed out that the way I planned to take the band in we so tight that it was causing bulges and offered aother suggestion. So really I think with a simple alteration (if you ... know what you're doing) you could take it all the way down to a 28G. And Mom was very helpful, showed me how to do things I didn't even know needed to be done, and didn't make any rude comments. Not intentionally anyway. I had only told her I needed sewing help, not with what, and when I pulled the top out of my bag it was folded at the center gore. Her first comment was "You want to sew a helmet?" I looked, and yes, that was exactly what it looked like.
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haha.yay! :)
Had an issue with mine, theyre sending another, great customer service
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I'm going to be making my first attempt at an alteration. It's just a bikini top that's way too big in the band, but I would think it should be a simple task. There's even an adjustable band in the back, and I'm pretty sure that all I need to do that is remove that part and
reattach ... the hook. Sounds easy, right?
Three difficulties...
I don't have a sewing machine.
I don't have any sewing skills.
The person I know who does have these things is my mother.
As I think I've mentioned before, my mother has some wonderful qualities, but anything bra or breast related have never been included there. I already know she doesn't understand the difficulty I have finding anything that fits, and I'm sure there will be eye rolls and a"Why didn't you just buy one that fits?" or two. I'm hopeful I'm underestimating her. If nothing else, at least I should get a well fitting swimsuit out of it.
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I have no sewing skills nor sewing machine and I've done this alteration and it's really easy! Which bikini top is it?
It's from Venus. Not actually bra sized, just DD. I bought a couple with different kinds of adjustable backs. This one has a section with a slider like you'd normally see on a bra strap in the back, but even at its tightest only fits at about a 34 or so. I think if I cut that section out and sew in the hook at the end of the wing it should be about a 30. The cups are right on though. I was about to say I bought them on a whim, but out of desperation is probably more accurate. If this alteration isn't too difficult and goes well I may have to buy from them again.
After the blatant rudeness and disrespect to her customers, I am inclined to explore alternatives to her brand all the same, but for those in more extreme size ranges than myself, this is a life saver:
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Ewa-Michalakeng/393975224005973?fref=ts
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I *think* some of it that has been said may have come through.
Look at this picture
https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc1/998507_569908706385359_266508240_n.jpg
This was published an hour ago - and it's from what I see about two sizes larger then what the larger model used to wear.
Oh, strap in the armpit much? :D
Anyway, not sure what to think. At the same time I was told by Ewa after she saw my pictures in Ewa Michalak Sm Beżyk
that I should go with 70H or HH -.-
Vee Wow I like that fit much more :)! And also wow what bra is that, I want it! :D
And also I expected strapgate so I didn't become so upset, but them taking back the small bands was seriously a move I never expected so that made me happy.
I think this was the best move she could do as a designer. Preserve her idea and integrity as a designer, and at the same time allow her bras to be altered. It's the only possible compromise so far.
And yes; I think a lot more got through on both sides than we now know of, and hopefully now there can be peace?
*looking up what kind of bra that is*
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Oh, cool. I'm going on vacation tomorrow and I just realised I accidentally already packed all my bras ... which are on their way to the advance bagage check-in as I type this *rolls eyes*
The only bra I didn't pack is the Braologie Posture-Contour Bra Casual that arrived yesterday, a sample of their new line kindly sent to me by Braologie. Looks like I'm going to take it for a serious spin a bit earlier than expected
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I'm so curious!
Happy holiday <3
Your powers of self control are astounding. I could never wait that long before trying out a bra.
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Someone posted this link on /r/abrathatfits:
http://lingeriebriefs.com/2013/07/01/breast-tissue-migration-fact-or-fiction/
I am kind of excited to learn that what some of us have been calling a 'tail' is actually called a tail: tail of Spence (I'm assuming it can also be a lot broader than in this picture).
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An interesting read. It doesn't surprise me that there is a "tail". I'm thinking that the tail will never disappear (and it doesn't have to imo) but the volume there can lessen, and I really think that's possible for me because I have proportionally much tissue there, and I really don't think I would've if I had worn correctly fitting bras from the very beginning.
Thanks for sharing that. She did some decent research on the issue and presented a balanced approach. I for one have accepted that I will have extra tissue around the armpit front and back. It is what it is, and what it is is me!
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Wore my new panache all day, risky but its .....ok
Just a bit scratchy lace that will hopefully soften
What lovely padded straps ♥
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Padded straps? Sounds like I should take a look at that Eliza again...
How is the shape? Is it similar to Panache Tango?
Isn't it Panache Elsa (6691)? Not Eliza.
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I think I'm developing a new kind of phobia. I'm so sick and tired of too small bras! I can't stand any cutting in on top anymore! I need 1-2 bras besides my altered dearest 36J - Sculptresse » Bellise Balconnet Bra (6891), since I can't wear it 24/7.
My recent Curvy Kate trials that I had high ... expectations in (because of the new cut) were epic failures:
34K - Curvy Kate » Daily Boost (CK1801) which did act like it's a good bra until it decided to show how weak it really is. I can cover my boobs in foam lined cups from a C&A bra (that costs 10Euro) if I just want to cover them! (Okay I exaggerate, but still) Why pay lots of money on a 34K bra that is not made to support a 32K bust?!
Curvy Kate Gia (CK2101) was really a snake in the grass... the bra did look like a good fit and it felt like a good fit. Now after wearing it a bit, if showed that it isn't. Thanks, now I wasted the money and cannot return it. A true evil one.
32JJ - Curvy Kate » Pebble Padded Bikini Top (CS6011) : I can't blame the Bikini, but CK: that they didn't communicate that one now has to size up 2 cups in their Bikinis compared to last years collection. Still I don't want to look at it anymore, I don't know why I ever liked it and don't want it in a bigger size, I'm just too frustrated about the money I wasted on this. (*cough* check my listings for new with tags Pebble in 32JJ +14briefs, I want to get rid of it asap *cough*)
Aside from that: I don't really „need“ a Bikini at all – I have no occasion to wear it. But I just felt that I want to wear cute Bikinis too because everyone else does it.
To throw in a positive note: At least I got a Bondi Breeze from SS12 – which is the best Bikini there is and fits actually.
So I'm finally done with Curvy Kate forever. Stupidly I threw a Raspberry Lottie in my figleaves basket when they had 25% off, I can't wait to get it just to put it back in the parcel and send it back to the UK asap.
Some words on the quality: the bands of the bras I tried are very bad quality. I got the Gia 2 weeks ago and the band looks already like I worn it for a year.
I feel even a bit bad to "rant" over the "new and improved" Curvy Kate bras, but then they don't work for me either. I never got a good fit in any of CKs different cuts. I feel bad bad for everyone that used to get a perfect fit in old CK and now doesn't anymore.
I don't know what to do anymore. Should I buy bras now 2-3 cups bigger than my „calculator size“ ? Means shall I look for 34K and 36K now and alter their bands down?
(I get 30K - 32JJ - 32K - 34JJ in most famous calculators)
Or should I just get over my vanity and wear Panache Tango for the rest of my life? At least I save money on pain killers since Tango doesn't give me severe back pain.
But I hate how it looks. I'm too young to be sentenced to such a miserable destiny
Suggestions on how to alter a Tango to get rid of the blue shape and make it at least a purple shape?!
I could buy another Panache Ariza but I have no clue what size I need now. 32Ks band will be too big, since 32JJs band is too big too. 34J fitted me best, band is perfectly snug but the cups are too small now. 36J will have a tighter band than 32K or 34JJ, but there is a chance that it's too big so I can just go and buy 32K if I have to alter the band down anyway. Or even buy 34K and alter the band down? *clueless and frustrated*
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:sigh:
Feeling your pain here because everywhere I go seems to be a dead end.
I've been looking at your CK pics trying to come up with what to say, and the only thing that comes to mind is - they are just too weak bras for heavy breasts and/or they are not made to be worn all day.
So like Ewa kindly said to Petalmoon - stick with panache :)
And there is a bra that I keep running back to, like to an old lover after the new one broke my heart or proved to be unworthy... The Jasmine.
She and I have our share of problems. But when shit comes to fan, she is my safe harbour. So maybe revisit that one?
Besides, there will be more J-K options released in August so let us keep our fingers crossed :puppyeyes:
I learned my lesson or at least I hope I did. Please talk me out of it, if I ever want to try anything else than a Panache bra.
I have a Bravissimo red floral Jasmine in 32K resereved for me, haven't I, Branarchist?
Sooo I'm eager to give it a chance again! It was better than any Curvy Kate I tried so far.
Also I think 32K wires will fit me better, since they will be taller and wider. My old 30JJ was really too small.
I can't wait for new Panache Envy to be released. And I hope it will be stable and supportive like an Ariza and soft like a Jasmine. Also very excited for Sculptresse, purple polka dot Bellise: http://www.flickr.com/photos/47861509@N07/8547379594/in/set-72157632969045410 it will be mine :D
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I am going to go through my first bra fitting experience at a boutique. It's a long and detailed story but I want it off my chest.
I had just discovered r/abrathatfits and was pumped to figure out my size so I could start ordering online. I thought that going to a good boutique and finding my perfect size would be ... a great idea.
So I looked online and found two shops that carried a wide range of bands and sizes, which I thought was a good sign, and I settled on Brachic.
So I injured myself at work, and I needed to go to the doctor, but I had to kill several hours before my appointment. I was in the neighborhood of Brachic, so I decided on a whim to take a trip there. I went in, everything seemed very nice and pretty, and I waited a few minutes for a fitter. The lady seemed old and wise, and had a British accent. I thought this was promising. She took me into the fitting room, asked me what I was looking for. I said I wanted a better fitting bra, and i think my band is too big. She took my underbust measurement with my bra on. She said I was wearing a molded cup and asked if that was what I wanted. I told her I think so, I seem to like them.
She left and came back with one bra in nude, and one in black and said this is all she has in my size. The first was a Marie Jo L'aventure Tom Convertible Underwire Bra (012-0826) . She had me lean forwards, then put the bra on me and said she was getting all my breast tissue in the cup. I tried it on and she said it fit real well. She told me the gore laid flat, the band fit on the loosest hook, and there was no space in the top of the cup. I asked about the armpit fat (since I noticed she hadn't asked me to swoop and scoop), and she said "That's just us". She then had me try on the black one the same way, and there was space in the top of the cup. I asked if she had anything else. She left and brought back one more black bra that looked plain but it had an extra string of fabric in line with the top of the cup. She said you will either love it or hate it. I didn't really think it was my style. I think she put me back into the Tom (in 36C), and I asked her if she could order it in black. She said she could and that I would have to pay for the entire thing up front and that it would take a few weeks. She then said she would leave me with the bra to think about it.
So I stayed in the changing room. I did a few yoga poses to see if the bra would ride up like my old 38Bs. It didn't and it did really feel comfortable. I had come in convinced I would find my new size. I didn't think it would just be a sister size of my old bra. But she seemed so happy with the fit, and she seemed to know what she was talking about. I didn't even know the price of the bra, I was definitely in a weird state of mind from the stress of having injured myself and having to leave work. I tried looking for the price and couldn't see it. I assumed it was $70. I decided to buy it, even though the fitter hadn't exactly jumped through hoops like some of the awesome bra fittings I had read about on r/abrathatfits.
I left the change room and went to the cash. The lady told me it was non-refundable and I said ok. She tried to ring it up and she couldn't, she needed to get help from another lady. As I was watching I saw the price was $117. That was wayyyyy too much for me. But I had decided to buy it so I didn't change my mind. After a few minutes of tinkering she was able to ring it up. She then sold me a bottle of Soak, which seemed like a good idea. I'm glad that I learned later that at least that was a good purchase. Before I paid she again told me it was final sale. My head was still like "oh my god this is so much money and you're not even sure about this", but I had for some reason had my mind set on buying, and so it was done.
Later that night I started freaking out, and I made a post on r/abrathatfits asking if it did fit, this time I swoop and scooped before the pictures. The abrathatfit-ers didn't think it fit - at all. I was really stressed and annoyed about it for two weeks, until I decided to go back and say I didn't think it fit. I decided to send an email because I was going to be working during all their open hours for the next week. I said that I was unhappy that I was shoved into a 36C when I measured at more of a 34F, and that I was unhappy with the return policy, and that I hadn't worn the bra or removed the tags. She emailed me back two days later (it had been a weekend, to be fair) and said she would like to do a refitting for me, and signed her name. I thought she was the one who had fit me, so I googled her and it was definitely the same lady. So I told her that but that I wanted a refitting anyway.
It took about a week because of emailing, where she only checks her email every 48 hours, although once it took longer than that, and then I went in for a refitting.
When I arrived at the store for the refitting I said I had an appointment. The cashier said "SuperSecretL?" and I said yes. She told me the fitter was with another customer and would be done shortly. That was fine since my appointment was for a time window, not an exact time.
The fitter brought me into the fitting room and she had a bra with a post-it note on it. She looked at the note and said that in the email I had said I was 34F, so she had got a 34F bra. It was a full coverage bra and looked very not-shallow.
She had me try on the 36C I had purchased, she had me lean forward, and she put it on while I was leaning forward, and said that it was encapsulating all my breast tissue. Then I stood up and she showed me what she was looking for in a properly fitted bra: 1) the gore lied flat, 2) The bra was could be hooked up on the loosest hook, not the tightest 3) the tissue at the top of the cup was in line with the bra, no spillage and no empty space in the cup 4) All the breast tissue is inside the cup.
I then said that on the internet people had said that you should scoop migrated breast tissue from the back and sides into the cup. She said that if she had the cure for back fat she would not be here, she would be on an island somewhere. She said there is no magic to it and that she fits for the breasts we have, and make sure that all the breast tissue goes in the cup by leaning over.
I then tried to explain that the wires were sitting on the side of my boob. I said that when I lean over it looks like my breasts fit into the cup, but when I stand up the end of my breast goes further back, and I pointed at the spot where it ends. She didn't say anything, so I asked "Does that make sense?" and she said "That makes absolutely no sense". I then said "I measured the inside of this bra-" and she interrupted and asked, "why did you do that?" and I said "Because it was 7 inches, and I measured my own breast, and it was more than that." She then said that all my breast tissue was in the cup, and that the numbers and letters don't matter, only what fits.
Then she showed me the 34F, she put it on over top of my 36C, and said "look at this, you could go swimming in this bra, I won't even do it up, and look at how tight it would be". The fitter said that people on the internet could say whatever they want, it doesn't mean it's true. She said that in person she can see it fits, and I can tell it's comfortable. I nodded and said "it is comfortable, that's why I bought it."
She left, and I put back on my other bra (a 36E Montelle that is too large, but has nice wide wires that I find very comfortable) and shirt, and put the bra back in the bag I had bought it in. She came back in and asked if I had any more questions. She said "it's best if you ask now, rather than walking down the street and thinking about it." I said "ummmm" and I thought in my head that I still don't think it fits, but I had already tried explaining it to her, so I didn't have any more questions for her. And then I said "No I don't think so". She told me once again various things like all the breast tissue is in the cup, people on the internet can say whatever they want and once it's there it's permanent, and "I hope you wear that bra, because it fits." She then said that she did her research and saw the post that I wrote. She said "I was very tempted to respond, but I didn't". And then she said "I think it was very unfair what you wrote, and I hope you take it back." I thanked her and left, then wrote it in my phone that she hoped I would take back what I wrote, so I wouldn't forget to mull it over.
I thought about it. And I felt very anxious about it. Was it unfair? I am certainly no expert on bras, and I have not found A Bra That Fits. I was also worried that I was being two-faced by saying I was satisfied with her answer in store, but saying something else online. But I don't think that should stop me from sharing my honest experience. I think I did the best I could in the store, I got her honest opinion too, and whether or not I agree with it I already bought the non-refundable bra. I am very non-confrontational, and it was very hard for me to go back into that store and bring up my concerns. I think I did the best I could to bring up my issues, I listened to what she had to say, which I didn't agree with. Maybe some other people would have told her "actually I don't agree, and I won't be coming back". I did not feel the courage to do that. And frankly, I don't owe her that kind of honesty. And that is why I decided to post my experience online after all. I don't need to feel guilty. I have my own rights as a consumer.
And in the end, if I do turn out to be a 36C, there are a lot of places I can go. I don't need to choose between 3 ugly, expensive bras, especially for ones that flatten me out like my cheap, cotton ones didn't. I don't need to pay in advance to order a bra of a different color. I don't need to buy non-refundable bras.
And I'm selling the bra on Ebay.
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11 comments
I loved your ending.
It seems to be the pain of us all. Diving into the world of in person bra shopping is frakin intimidating! With each bra search we will gain confidence to stand up to fitters. That's tough bc it's easy to say "well, that's literally what they are paid to do." But fitters don't always keep up with the times. The stories I've read about how some measure...
Ya, this year has been the year where I've been trying to stand up for myself more in general, so it only fits that my bra experience will mirror that struggle.
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Don't give up yet! Trust me, the aha! moment when you get one that really works will make this all seem worthwhile :-)
PS- you can totally list that 28F for swap here. Someone is bound to have misjudged their size in the opposite direction.
What bra did you receive ? I might be interested on swapping. I have a 28ff ck bra that I've worn like 5 times
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